This Saturday I bring you the second post of the series of guest posts on Fear that will be published on this blog through this month. Today’s contributor is Rachana, a very special friend. She reviewed the ARC of my second book, How I tamed the dragon named fear and called me up at 11.20 PM in the night to tell me how the book made her feel. It was the first time I was talking to her on phone and we ended up chatting past 12.30 AM. Both of us are wannabe authors – so the connect is natural. Thank you Rachana for the simplicity and honesty with which you wrote this post. May you conquer your fears over the course of time.
Contributor: Rachana Sita
Fear: My bae
I feel privileged to talk about fear that I have known since childhood, more anything else. It’s like a mole or scar on the face, which always exists and which will create unnecessary insecurity if given importance.
Even our shadow will leave us alone in the darkness but fear never had and never will. Of course, it’s like a possessive boyfriend who always claims to be with you but only triggers you, provides you insecurity and who only brings out the worst version of you.
And we get easily caught up in it – sometimes without even realizing and sometimes without knowing it and sometimes not knowing how to walk out of it.
I had many fears and I still have many. Fears also get upgraded with time. The older we get, the bigger fears we face.
I fear darkness.
I fear rejections.
I fear relationships.
I fear the unknown future.
And many other fears which will pop out anytime like an uninvited pimple.
If I were to pick, I can’t single out one particular incident when I was afraid. Fear has been a part of my everyday life. I am afraid of waking up late, getting late to work, not bringing the proper output which will please the boss, not being truthful to myself.
Fear suffocates me and sweats me while my heart starts racing like a sports car and I will blindly follow the orders of the fear.
No matter where I am whether – in the middle of traffic or a concert or in a meeting or on the stage hosting something or talking about something, if fear arises and takes charge- I’ll be doomed for that day making myself a clown and bagging some embarrassment or regrets. I even started rejecting many things because of this oh-so-normal fear.
And fear never comes alone. It always brings its best friend anxiety which would be the origin for many bad decisions. I don’t even want to talk about anxiety; it almost convinced me to go a psychiatrist.
Lately I realized that I was the one giving it so much importance. I was one letting it to take over my brain. I was the only one allowing it to me make stupid decisions.
And I strongly decided that I will recognize what sort of fear or anxiety I am facing and slam a door right on its face. I didn’t want to make it a friend or an enemy as both requires attention. It should be like spam message which will be deleted even without opening.
On an important note, I also used to be insecure to talk about my fears- I had a fear of being made fun of. But then I realized that talking about fears will only help to sweep them off with the broomstick just like cobwebs.
Finding the right problem will only helps to find the right solution as every problem comes with its own solution.
I believe that the pivotal thing which can be done is firstly to discover the existence of fear and then not giving it much importance and ignoring it like an ex-boyfriend.
Having fear is completely okay.
Everyone experience some kind of fears and it’s okay to have them unless you get steered blindly by the fear.
I congratulate Arpita on her second book which is also about fear (My favourite topic though). It is so wonderful and awesome to write about something which bugs everyone. To share something which we learnt in our life and to spread positivity is very motivating. I wish you all the very best girl! Keep writing!
Rachana did Electrical Engineering. She worked in Wipro as a VLSI project engineer which rewired her brain and she decided to flourish her dream to be a writer. She writes short stories of fiction and fantasy. She is a newbie reader and loves the smell of the books. She loves coffee and always wanders in her fantasy-world where she finds many fascinating characters and stories. Her dream is to get identified by her fictional characters. She also loves travelling to new places.