Dear Arpita of college days,
How are you? This is your older self writing to you. I know you would love if you could get to know what the future holds for you. So here I am, giving you a sneak-peek into the future. Maybe it will make your Saturday a little better.
The first thing that I want to tell you is life is going to look up in a few years, so CHILL! I know you avoid going on the random trips that your friends plan (this is not going to change that much that soon), and I respect you for doing it – for sacrificing the small joys in order to have a better future. But that said, I know the biggest thing that looms large on your mind is the student loans. You are worried how you will ever pay it back and how soon. You are a very driven individual. Once you have set your mind to do something, you do get it done – you just have to understand that. You’ll spend your early work years aggressively paying off the loan and it will be over soon, so there is no point in worrying about it now. It’s not like the loan will get paid if you worry over it! 😀
Okay, now that your biggest worry is off the table, let’s talk about the next big thing: your relationship. You have found support and love after a long time, and you need to cherish it. The thing about life is nothing is permanent. Things change, people change. The nagging thought that you have at the back of your mind: whether this relationship will work out to marriage – well, I don’t have a definite answer to that, but in all probability it won’t. But again, when it ends, you will find yourself much more mature and stronger to deal with it. You need to stop feeling like you don’t deserve any better, because you do. You’re beautiful even with the tiny white patches of vitiligo on your skin. When you meet the right man, it won’t stop him from loving you.
I know you spend a lot of time being mad at your parents. Your sole complaint is why they can’t provide you the things that your friends’ parents are able to provide them. You hate that you don’t have as many nice clothes to wear, as much money to go out with your friends. Really, you need to give your parents a break. I am glad that you’ll eventually grow out of this mental frame and forgive your parents and feel bad for how you’ve treated them when you were feeling low. Not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Some of us have to carve our own paths and build our own queendoms. Tell me, isn’t it cooler to buy that wrist watch with your own money rather than begging your parents for it? I know the self-respecting part of you says a big YES to this, but your only worry is whether you’ll be capable enough to actually buy it someday. Well, you will! And when you are, you’ll actually be thinking more about giving back to your family than your own fulfillment. Yes, you will be that person!
So relax a little, keep up that wide smile and walk a lot more on the peaceful roads of Salt Lake while you can. You’re going to miss it much.
A big thanks to you for reading this. I want you to know how grateful I am to you for being who you are: you have a good heart and a beautiful mind. I’m proud to be the older you!