Tag Archives: goals

The Happiness Project | Day 5

Yesterday, unfortunately, there was no post added on The Happiness Project. I did make a promise to write everyday for the rest of the month. However, I just ended up lying on my bed and watching SUITS the entire day.

This is what today’s post is about: not SUITS, but being unable to keep commitments.

I have always been someone who has been able to keep promises. I usually always finished my school homework on time. My lab reports in college were always filled. I am never behind on my bills. I repaid my education loan on time.

But there are other things in which I am consistently falling behind: things which are personal, which do not require external commitments. I am not able to keep the promises I make to myself.

In December, last year, I started my YouTube channel. I had been posting videos on them consistently. Recently I crossed the 100 subscribers milestone as well. My channel is growing. On the one hand, it makes me happy. On the other, I am losing motivation to keep making the videos. It does not feel like a lot of work, really. But I am struggling to come up with new ideas to execute videos every week. Besides, with every video I put out, the pressure is to get a little better every time. I do not want to put up something just for the sake of putting it.

Over the course of last two years, I have realized one thing about myself: I function best when there are set goals that I have to reach. I did well in school and college because we had set grades to get and I managed my schedule around that. Now that everything is fuzzy, I am struggling to take decisions. How much money is enough money? How much should I save every month? What should by my next five year plan?

I have made plans before, plans which were sort of people-dependent. The people moved on, and I had to forget those plans and make new ones. The solution seems simple: to remove people-dependency. Logically, I know this is the right thing. But deep inside my heart, there is this craving to do something together, to share my life with people who care, to be around people who make me smile and share the same appreciation of life as I do. Such people are hard to come by, as I am not in a situation in life where I meet a lot of people in my everyday life. Plus, I am living far from my immediate family.

Somehow, coping with all this is hard. I find it hard these days to drag myself out of bed and be the boss of my own life. But that said, at least I am making efforts to live each day, without giving up on living life. Somewhere, I have this hope that things will start getting better, somewhere down in the timeline. Somewhere, I will start meeting the people that I will need in my life. And for now, perhaps that is enough.

If we were having coffee – 1

I haven’t quite blogged in some time now and didn’t know what to talk about as well. So, I decided to do a ‘coffee blog’ where I am gonna tell you things if we were having coffee right now. Here we go:

If we were having coffee, the first thing that I would tell you is I like my coffee better when it is cold – that’s literally the best coffee for me. We get this amazing cold coffee in the office cafeteria for just Rs. 30. Most days when my lunch is too dry, I’ll get myself and my friend Pooja a cup of the chilling, cold coffee.

If we were having coffee, I must tell you about the change in timing that will be implemented starting June 1 in my company. We are moving to the time 1 PM to 10 PM IST. It is supposed to ensure couple of things:

  1. Make sure everyone in the team starts and finishes together
  2. More overlap with clients

Mu Sigma, until now, was a company where there was no in time or out time. You could literally walk in or leave whenever you wanted. As nice as it sounds, most of the time, people ended up spending many more hours in office than the scheduled 9 hours work. I have known people who literally went to office one day and did not return home until the next day. Hopefully, these new timings should ease things like that out now. There are multiple thoughts and emotions on the floor because of this time change. The fact that it takes away the entire evening time is not something a lot of us are looking forward to. But the fact that we can sleep a little late into the morning and have the mornings to ourselves is definitely cheering us up.

If we were having coffee, I’d definitely tell you about me thinking about switching flats. I might end up getting a single home about 7 km from my workplace by end of July. It’s a nice society and I am looking forward to starting my life all over again over there. Over the last couple of months, my life has sort of become static. I watch TV series on the loop during the weekends. On the weekdays, I am too busy to do anything else. As such, I have moved farther and farther from my goals and passions. I am rarely blogging/writing/reading. I have also been sleeping late and waking up late. I want to press the reset button in my life and bring back some good habits. I am hoping moving to the new flat will make that happen for me.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that it is really important to have clear, defined goals in life. When I was in school, the goal was to get into a good college. When I went to college, it became about getting into a good workplace. Now that I am working, I do not have any short term or long term goals that I had initially visualized. Now, I am planning to change the same. Eventually, I want to go back to the field of electronics, so I have decided to buy a study table and get started. For now, I am just taking a couple of tests for my promotion at work – at least that is keeping me slightly on schedule.

As the days pass, I am also starting to having thoughts around settling down – marriage. As I have often talked about earlier, I had student loans and I do not plan to get married until and unless I have paid it off and made some savings. It’s becoming increasingly lonely to live among strangers and having no goal in life. Maybe, I’d be healthier if I were around people who would hold me accountable and who I’d be responsible for. Let’s see.

If you were having coffee with me right now, what would you tell me? What’s new in your life?

Until our next coffee date!