Tag Archives: how fear affects us

Life is Bigger (A guest post)

Today is the final post of the series of guest posts on fear. Today’s blogger is Belinda, someone I have known through the blogoworld for sometime now. I really enjoy her wonderful posts and her insights into life and I am happy to provide a peek into her thoughts through this post. Thank you Belinda for bringing out the silver lining around fear via this post.

||Guest Post||

Contributor: Belinda O.

october-2016I encourage my cats’ fear of strangers, at least, I don’t discourage it. If a stranger comes to the door, particularly someone carrying tools and wires or other unknown entities, the cats hightail it down the stairs and under the bed. There they’ll stay until they’re certain it’s safe, and if they fall asleep (which they often do), even longer than that.

Fear helps keep my cats safe. If I’m not home, I want them hiding if a stranger enters. In the same way, I follow my fears to a metaphorical space-under-the-bed at times as well. Call me overly-cautious, but I believe in better safe than sorry.

That’s fine when the fears involve dark alleys, like the one that leads to the dumpster behind my work place. I’m supposed to take the garbage out every night before I leave, but I don’t do it after dark. It’s deserted and a set-up for danger. If my boss forced the issue and told me to “take the damn garbage out anyway,” I’d quit. Fortunately, she has a healthy respect of – fear of – dark alleys herself.

As a child I had unnamed fears as a result of abuse in a time before my memory really began. I say unnamed, I refer to it as a time without memory, but the fears actually were very specific, I just didn’t know how to verbalize it. As time went on the memory became duller and the fears broader.

I held myself back from so much that could cause ridicule or shame, and in doing so, I also held myself back from doing things that could have enhanced my life and increased my self-esteem. I didn’t see it that way, however, preferring to stay safe.

As an adult, I fully faced the pain, but lifetime habits are hard to break. The fear remained.

It took an incident that was surreal on the one hand and starkly real on the other to break down some of what continued to hold me back, fears that were so intrinsically a part of me I didn’t recognize them. I still am challenged with some of it. I don’t know if it will ever end, and I pray I never face what I faced before to stop it completely.

That fear is bigger now than the one I faced since I was learning to walk. Still, I refuse to be felled by either.

Life is bigger than our fears, it is bigger than our failures. It is made up of so much more than what we believe in when we’re younger, and there is always more to discover.

Life is bigger than our fears.

About Belinda:

Belinda works with social media & public relations for small businesses and non-profit organizations, with a growing focus on diversity and minority perspective.  Prior to this she worked with individuals with developmental disabilities.

Belinda believes in the power of words, written, spoken and unspoken. She believes what we write and what we create unleashes who we are, even to our own surprise.

Blogger Links:


Disclaimer: The thoughts and opinions expressed in the guest post are solely the guest’s. The owner of this blog makes no representation as to the originality, accuracy or completeness of any information in this post.


Blurb for “How I tamed the dragon named fear”

downloadKeeping in mind the theme of my my next book, How I tamed the dragon named fear, I am planning to include voice of the reader as a part of the book. For those of you who don’t know about my upcoming book yet, How I tamed the dragon named fear is a short self-help book on fear.

The idea is to have small blurbs – a line or two at max – describing how fear affects you, the reader. Think of it like a tagline of the impact of fear in your life. If fear is a influencing factor in your life, I strongly recommend your contribution in this. Your participation will help me to enrich the point of view of the book. Plus, you get the chance to get featured in a book!

If you are interested, please send in your blurbs using the Contact form below. Note that it is mandatory to mention your name and profession along with the blurb. I reserve the right to select which blurbs will be published in the book.

Blurb On!

Fear: My bae (A guest post)

This Saturday I bring you the second post of the series of guest posts on Fear that will be published on this blog through this month. Today’s contributor is Rachana, a very special friend. She reviewed the ARC of my second book, How I tamed the dragon named fear and called me up at 11.20 PM in the night to tell me how the book made her feel. It was the first time I was talking to her on phone and we ended up chatting past 12.30 AM. Both of us are wannabe authors – so the connect is natural. Thank you Rachana for the simplicity and honesty with which you wrote this post. May you conquer your fears over the course of time.

||Guest Post||

Contributor: Rachana Sita

Fear: My bae

img-20170113-wa0000I feel privileged to talk about fear that I have known since childhood, more anything else.  It’s like a mole or scar on the face, which always exists and which will create unnecessary insecurity if given importance.

Even our shadow will leave us alone in the darkness but fear never had and never will. Of course, it’s like a possessive boyfriend who always claims to be with you but only triggers you, provides you insecurity and who only brings out the worst version of you.

And we get easily caught up in it – sometimes without even realizing and sometimes without knowing it and sometimes not knowing how to walk out of it.

I had many fears and I still have many. Fears also get upgraded with time. The older we get, the bigger fears we face.

I fear darkness.

I fear rejections.

I fear relationships.

I fear the unknown future.

And many other fears which will pop out anytime like an uninvited pimple.

If I were to pick, I can’t single out one particular incident when I was afraid. Fear has been a part of my everyday life. I am afraid of waking up late, getting late to work, not bringing the proper output which will please the boss, not being truthful to myself.

Fear suffocates me and sweats me while my heart starts racing like a sports car and I will blindly follow the orders of the fear.

No matter where I am whether – in the middle of traffic or a concert or in a meeting or on the stage hosting something or talking about something, if fear arises and takes charge- I’ll be doomed for that day making myself a clown and bagging some embarrassment or regrets. I even started rejecting many things because of this oh-so-normal fear.

And fear never comes alone. It always brings its best friend anxiety which would be the origin for many bad decisions. I don’t even want to talk about anxiety; it almost convinced me to go a psychiatrist.

Lately I realized that I was the one giving it so much importance. I was one letting it to take over my brain. I was the only one allowing it to me make stupid decisions.

And I strongly decided that I will recognize what sort of fear or anxiety I am facing and slam a door right on its face. I didn’t want to make it a friend or an enemy as both requires attention. It should be like spam message which will be deleted even without opening.

On an important note, I also used to be insecure to talk about my fears- I had a fear of being made fun of. But then I realized that talking about fears will only help to sweep them off with the broomstick just like cobwebs.

Finding the right problem will only helps to find the right solution as every problem comes with its own solution.

I believe that the pivotal thing which can be done is firstly to discover the existence of fear and then not giving it much importance and ignoring it like an ex-boyfriend.

Having fear is completely okay.

Everyone experience some kind of fears and it’s okay to have them unless you get steered blindly by the fear.

I congratulate Arpita on her second book which is also about fear (My favourite topic though). It is so wonderful and awesome to write about something which bugs everyone.  To share something which we learnt in our life and to spread positivity is very motivating. I wish you all the very best girl! Keep writing!

About Rachana

Rachana did Electrical Engineering. She worked in Wipro as a VLSI project engineer which rewired her brain and she decided to flourish her dream to be a writer. She writes short stories of fiction and fantasy. She is a newbie reader and loves the smell of the books. She loves coffee and always wanders in her fantasy-world where she finds many fascinating characters and stories. Her dream is to get identified by her fictional characters. She also loves travelling to new places.



Disclaimer: The thoughts and opinions expressed in the guest post are solely the guest’s. The owner of this blog makes no representation as to the originality, accuracy or completeness of any information in this post.