If you had to sum up your life in a few conversations, which would top that chart?
Tonight, I am thinking, let’s imagine we are on an island with sandy beaches and coconut trees. Imagine an open clearing, a vast sky meeting the vast sea-line. A safe space, even if it is stranded. It’s about dusk, the shadows have started to deepen and lengthen. You’re sitting with someone. Or more than one person. You are sitting and having conversations, about the things that you have or have not done, the regrets, the small happy things, the smiles, the over-binging on pickles as a kid when your mom was not looking. You could be talking about anything. So which conversation comes to mind?
I feel blessed sometimes to have known people with so much mental depth and character. I am glad to be part of their stories.
So tonight, I think back to that night when one of my flat-mates told me, “All said and done, no boy in your life is irreplaceable.” I had gone through a rough patch in my life then and I needed to hear that. She told me this as part of her then somewhat difficult relationship trying to convince both sets of parents of a possible marriage. And now they are. The important thing was to know that you can move on from all sort of heartbreaks, if you choose to.
Someone else told me today not to depend on one person for all the needs of life. A simple, yet powerful mantra to living. Perhaps, the most adult advice that I have heard today.
From a different night, I remember the conversation with a faraway friend, when I was trying to come to term with a very difficult part in my past. It was not a conversation, more me crying trying to decide if I could lay bare all that was in my heart, and then choosing not to. But that night, he told me that we all have such figures in our lives who cast deep psychological shadows on us, and yes, perhaps a lot of our stressors can be traced back to them, but at the end, we learn to deal with it. We cope. We live. That is the important part. It had made me stop crying.
Come to think of it, our lives are a sum of moments and conversations. A specific moment comes to mind, when I was receiving a prize at a major competition while I was in college, and my professor was in the crowd clicking pictures with tears in his eyes, because it was the first time our college was receiving a first prize in that competition. We are not in touch anymore, but that moment strikes out.
I suppose we look for profoundness in our lives, when there may not be any. I am guilty of finding deep meanings in things which might just be that, a random thing.
Yet, some conversations stand out. So, if you are on that beach right now what is the conversation that is spinning?